The definition of beauty...Audrey Hepburn

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."

Audrey Hepburn

The Mean Reds

Anyone who knows me personally will know that my favourite actress of all time is Audrey Hepburn. So naturally, one of my favourite films, since I was a little girl, is the classic 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' based on the novel by Truman Capote.
If you haven't seen the film (then where have you been?!) you won't understand the title of this blog. So here to enlighten you is the dialogue from the film where it comes from. Holly Golightly is Audrey's character.


Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?


The mean reds. That's where I am now. This year has been so rocky it has left me in a different state. The future, which I'm usually so positive about, is a daunting prospect because it's filled with the unknown. Choices and decisions are waiting to be made but I feel like they're not giving me enough time. They're pushing me, rushing me to make decisions that I currently don't feel equipped to make.
In the city that never sleeps you're constantly on your grind in one way or another so the pressure to be on top of things and continuously pushing forward is high. Someone recently told me that the world isn't going to wait for me. That things will never be perfect in life so that I can proceed how I want in the way I want. That I should be doing everything in my power at all times to go for my goals.
I agree with the principle of that. In fact, that was usually my M.O. No matter what happened to me, no matter how hard I had fallen, I would dust myself off and keep going. That's what winners do right? But this time, I see where the flaws can be in that approach. Sometimes, in your hurry to prove yourself and get back on your game, you end up driving blind. And usually with no gas in the tank. So what happens? You fall again. And those opportunities that you were so worried about missing? Well you can end up messing them up anyway.
I guess the point I'm trying to make, and the thing I've realised this time round, is that sometimes it's ok to take a step back. It's ok to take a break and refresh yourself. The mean reds can be pretty unforgiving. Give yourself time to feel whatever you're feeling - the blues or the mean reds. Get your energy and faith back up. Come up with a better game plan. So that once the blues or reds have passed by, you're ready to go again. Ready for all the other colours of the rainbow you're planning to paint with.

Those 3 Words

Are you the one to say them first? Do they scare you? Do you fear the repercussions?
I think I can safely say that my memory serves me well enough to say that I haven't been the first to utter those words to someone. Until now...
I've wanted to say them for quite some time but fear held me back. And the knowledge (or belief) that the person on the receiving end wasn't quite in the same place as me so I wouldn't be hearing it said back to me. I guess saying it and having the response of tumbleweeds whistling by didn't exactly fill me with the joys of the emotion in question - love. But then I realised that that was ok. It really was. That I didn't love this person because they love me. It wasn't about the return or the gain. It was the purity of the emotion, of the feeling. For the first time in my life I can safely say that I truly love someone. In the very best sense of the word.
And at this point I'll hand these words over to Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians (13:4-8), who is so often quoted but I believe this is because he expressed it best.

'Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.'


I just wanted him to know. Before he got back on the plane. What can say? I'm an old romantic at heart! And I'm a firm believer that although we may have all the time in the world, we also may not. We never know what's around the corner lying in wait for any of us. Or what circumstances will bring about that one sure thing that life offers us on a continuous basis - change. So do you want to be someone who let fear dictate your actions? Do you want the people in your life to not know how you really feel? How much you really love them? If tomorrow isn't promised I think I'll seize today.

So I told him. With no expectations. And I was pleasantly surprised by the response. And do I feel awkward? Ashamed? Stupid? No. I felt lighter, happier. I felt great. Living in honesty is a beautiful thing.
As mentioned in my previous post, i'm a believer that what you put out there will be returned to you. So I chose love over fear. I spoke the words from my heart and I believe 100% that they will be returned to me. In the giving, unselfish way that they were meant and delivered from me. Only, I've learnt that they may not come from the one you bestowed it upon. Years ago I would have viewed this scenario very differently and have taken the egotistical fear-based approach. I would have seen weakness in saying those three words.
Now I know they hold nothing but power. The purist, richest, strongest power in existence.
Love.

'And now faith, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.'
1 Corinthians 13:13